The Hindflick
by Mello's Favorite Reject
Summary: Mello's choking on chocolate! Thankfully, there's a mysterious redheaded hero nearby! OneShot.


**Title:** The Hindflick

**Summary:** Mello's choking on chocolate! Thankfully, there's a mysterious redheaded hero nearby! OneShot.

**Disclaimer:** Don't own DN or anything referenced. Plot is practically mine, right?

**Author's Note:** My dog was choking on a treat and my niece yelled: "Quick, someone! Give him the Hindflick Maneuver! Smack his butt!"–I'm pretty sure she was refering to the Heimlich Maneuver, but that's how this idea came about.

…

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Oh, so sinfully delicious with its devilishly dark color and poisonously sweet taste… He could hardly contain the moan that left him as the divine substance melted in his mouth, allowing his tongue the chance to play with the syrupy texture.

He was drop dead gorgeous with his sun bleached hair and flawless skin; his tight leather clothes clung to him like the cotton shirt of a bimbo in a wet t-shirt contest, showing off his faint curves and saintly body. Fuck yeah, was he sexy. Too sexy for the naked eye –especially when he was naked himself.

Now, combining this piece of eye candy with a chocolate truffle –now, that's an orgasmic phenomenon! _Quick! Call the Fire Department! Because this guy's fuckin' hot! Burnin' up with all that Sex surrounding him like a personal atmosphere, complete with a gravitational pull geared towards wandering eyes… _At least, that's what this redheaded stranger thought idly as he tapped listlessly at his handheld, pretending to pay attention to something other than his clandestine fixation.

The redhead's own form was unique all its own, but uncelebrated all the same –with his effortlessly slim frame, lean limbs that were toned beneath his K-Mart clothes, and evergreen eyes that were hidden by trademark lenses. He was modest and his beauty was subtle; then again, perhaps he was simply ignorant of his own blessings. (Or maybe he just didn't care.)

Still, that blonde beauty slipped a sweet treat passed his small lips and used his tongue to roll it around, stunning blue eyes lidding in bliss at the taste that seemingly fucked his senses into submission.

And… with poor Mario falling prey to a simple Goomba, the redhead lifted his head and brought a hand to the frame of his goggles, sliding the apparel up to tangle messily in crimson strands as he openly gawked at the temptation before him.

Even with Mario's kill theme sounding softly, all the whole scene was perfect, as if scripted, rehearsed, and performed by Brad Pitt and Edward Norton… or something. –Everything was amazing –or, at least it seemed that way until the redhead noticed a slight discoloration on the blonde's face; those blue eyes marginally bulged as he had one hand on his throat and his other spilling candies onto the floor.

In a split second, the redhead decided that the attractive blonde stranger was choking, and… where Mario had failed, he would succeed! Dropping his handheld and jumping to his feet, he puffed out his chest and boldly declared: "I'll save you, citizen! You appear to be choking! Allow me to perform… the Hindflick Maneuver!" With that, he flailed into action! He clumsily bolted towards the breathless stranger and slapped him on the ass as hard as he could, pleased when that small piece of chocolate shot from the blonde's mouth, followed by a cough and hard breathing.

After a moment, the blonde glared angrily at the gaming redhead; his eyes were watery from the incident, though he continued to keep up the tough façade. "What the fuck was that?! I'm choking, so you slap my ass?!"

The redhead frowned, ego deflating as he took on an apologetic expression. "Erm… I was… saving your life?"

The blonde sighed and ran a hand through his hair, gaze sinking to look at the scattered truffles. "…Thanks, I guess. But couldn't you have just given me the Heimlich like a normal person?"

"That's what I did. The Hindflick. Same thing, yes? –Sorry if I've mistaken. English isn't my first language."

And the blonde snorted, biting back sudden laughter at what the other had said. He cleared his throat with a crude grunt before extending a hand. "Thanks. The name's Mello –so… what's your name, hero?"

At this, the redhead beamed, giving a wide, toothy grin and squinty eye combo. "A superhero never reveals his identity!" he said happily, grin slipping into a lazy smile. He turned away and picked up a yellow object that was sitting next to his forgotten handheld; he slipped it on over his face and the blonde instantly recognized it as a Pikachu mask. "Until next time, citizen! " The moment the words left his mouth, he turned to leave, maladroitly stumbling off in a random direction.

… Noticing the redhead had left the handheld behind, Mello retrieved it, planning to find the mysterious hero and return the gaming device as soon as possible; but for now, he could only think of the stinging sensation that haunted his own sexy ass._ Fuck did it hurt so good!_

And though he mourned the loss of his truffles –for a mysterious gamer to give him a Hindflick, it seemed like a pretty fair trade. He'd gladly lose a thousand truffles to repeat the encounter. But next time, he was definitely getting a name, a number, and a grope or two.

Fuck. Yeahz.

…

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**/*facepalm* I know it's LAME! But it was fun. Review!/**


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